Don & I are headed out this morning for a great getaway weekend at Myrtle Beach, SC. Our church is hosting a couples' retreat. We are so excited for much needed couple time. Don's parents are here from OH to spend time with the girls. For those of you who are thinking how in the world did they make it here with the snow storm they just hand, relax. They came on Tuesday BEFORE the storm. They had planned on coming on Wednesday but changed the plans when they saw the storm coming. I'm praying for a renewed and refreshed relationship with the man God has blessed me with.
I have started a new Bible Study that has shown me some things about myself that I'll share here at a later date. I need to approach my family much differently than I do now. I promise to update SOON and explain. Thanks for sticking with me!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
My Performer
Well...Emma has become quite the little performer. She loves to "dress" up and perform shows for us with the help of Gracie & Ethan, my niece and nephew. Here's her latest "outfit". I am going to video these shows one of these days, and I'll post for your enjoyment. She's a hoot!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Snow Days!
On Tuesday, we had the most snow we've had in a LONG time here in NC. I was very doubtful when the weather dude said there would be snow. (They seem to always be wrong.) Not this time. My kids & Pam's kids had a blast. Ok...I'm not fooling anyone...I had a blast too. Phil hooked a sled to the back of his Suzuki. It would really only hold 2-3 kids though. So Don went up to Mama's and got the other "sled". Some years back when we got snow, Charlie went to a junk yard and bought the hood of a car to make into a sled. So, that's what Don hooked to his Suzuki. It was really rednecked-up, but boy was it fun. Don was off work on Tuesday and Wednesday so he was able to pull the kids both days. Here are some pictures...
Emma, Chloe, Gracie & Ethan
Emma
Chloe (at a good moment)
Don pulling the "sled".
Phil pulling the other sled.
Emma, Chloe, Gracie & Ethan
Emma
Chloe (at a good moment)Don pulling the "sled".Phil pulling the other sled.Sunday, January 18, 2009
Facing My "Lion" & Resting In Him
Ok, ok...sorry it's taken so long. I really don't have time to blog....well, I do have some time, but not QUIET time. I'll try to catch you up to what's going on.
Dance went well for the girls. They loved it. However, it seemed like a waste of time and money to me. Does that sound horrible? I mean how much are they really taking away from the lessons that last 45 minutes once a week?? Oh well...
The Believing God Bible study is officially over. It's kind of sad. I'm ready to do another one...not lead it...just do another one. I need those to keep me on track. I do have a few in mind, but I'm waiting to see what will be offered around me before I journey to do one alone.
I've really been struggling lately with homeschooling. Struggling with discernment, doubt, fear of failure. I truly want what He wants. Does that mean it will be easy? No, but I think I've had this subconscious thought in my head that obedience would breed ease. I'm sure I'm wrong about this. I know...you're wondering what in the world I learned from this Bible study that I've done twice in the past 6 months. So...I began praying fervently for direction from the Lord yielded to His leading. I begged for confirmation one way or the other.
This past Wednesday night (after this morning of prayer for confirmation) I received that confirmation in a sermon. It was if God Himself chose to speak DIRECTLY to me through our education pastor. He spoke out of 2 Samuel 23:20-23. Benaiah was the man that literally faced a lion in the midst of a pit on a snowy day. The odds were stacked against him....things didn't look good or easy. That's where I am with homeschooling. The odds seem to be stacked against me. I'm no teacher. It wasn't just that. That pastor said things out loud that I had either said to the Lord or believed in my heart just that morning in my quiet time with Jesus. I'm so afraid of failing....failing her...the Lord...Don.
I guess I can't really seem to put into words how the Lord confirmed to me that I was to homeschool Emma in the fall, but He did. Now, I'm seeking Him to show me what tools to use. The pre-K program I bought was not her learning style AT ALL....it was mine. It made for very frustrating days...so I quit in October. God will guide.
"Call on me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things which you did not know."
Jeremiah 33:3
Matter of fact, I taught Emma the first part of that verse ONE day this past week. We worked on it for probably 15 minutes. Sadly enough, we had not talked about it since. On the way to church this morning, I asked Emma if she wanted to practice over her verse. She refused to even hear it much less say it because she was in a serious funk from not getting enough sleep last night. So, I dropped it. We get into the service. She sits with one of the ladies at church while I'm in the choir (Don's home sleeping as he worked the night before). As I'm sitting there, I see her go up for the children's message which is when they say their verses. I'm really nervous at this point. Anyone with children knows this nervous feeling. THEN...she STANDS up because she had a new verse. I was like....oh my goodness...what in the world is going to come out of her mouth. I even voiced out loud..."she's never going to remember that verse." Let me just tell you, that little Emma spouted off that verse word for word. I was FLOORED. I'm sure my mouth was wide open. I couldn't believe she remembered it. I felt like the Lord was saying to me..."see child...I've got this". I was so proud of her. I know Jesus must have smiled down too...it was just that kind of moment. Now, who He was smiling at, I'm not sure. Probably me, since the light bulb seemed to have finally come on.
I'm so glad that He doesn't ever give up on me. Sometimes Emma would look up at me with tears in her eyes and say "I'm never gonna get this." I feel that way..."I'm never gonna get this, am I Father? I'm always going to doubt You and the promises You've already made me, aren't I? Why do I struggle so with believing You?" It's then that I feel His Loving Arms around me, begging me to rest in Him. So....that's what I'm doing tonight...I'm resting in Him.
Dance went well for the girls. They loved it. However, it seemed like a waste of time and money to me. Does that sound horrible? I mean how much are they really taking away from the lessons that last 45 minutes once a week?? Oh well...
The Believing God Bible study is officially over. It's kind of sad. I'm ready to do another one...not lead it...just do another one. I need those to keep me on track. I do have a few in mind, but I'm waiting to see what will be offered around me before I journey to do one alone.
I've really been struggling lately with homeschooling. Struggling with discernment, doubt, fear of failure. I truly want what He wants. Does that mean it will be easy? No, but I think I've had this subconscious thought in my head that obedience would breed ease. I'm sure I'm wrong about this. I know...you're wondering what in the world I learned from this Bible study that I've done twice in the past 6 months. So...I began praying fervently for direction from the Lord yielded to His leading. I begged for confirmation one way or the other.
This past Wednesday night (after this morning of prayer for confirmation) I received that confirmation in a sermon. It was if God Himself chose to speak DIRECTLY to me through our education pastor. He spoke out of 2 Samuel 23:20-23. Benaiah was the man that literally faced a lion in the midst of a pit on a snowy day. The odds were stacked against him....things didn't look good or easy. That's where I am with homeschooling. The odds seem to be stacked against me. I'm no teacher. It wasn't just that. That pastor said things out loud that I had either said to the Lord or believed in my heart just that morning in my quiet time with Jesus. I'm so afraid of failing....failing her...the Lord...Don.
I guess I can't really seem to put into words how the Lord confirmed to me that I was to homeschool Emma in the fall, but He did. Now, I'm seeking Him to show me what tools to use. The pre-K program I bought was not her learning style AT ALL....it was mine. It made for very frustrating days...so I quit in October. God will guide.
"Call on me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things which you did not know."
Jeremiah 33:3
Matter of fact, I taught Emma the first part of that verse ONE day this past week. We worked on it for probably 15 minutes. Sadly enough, we had not talked about it since. On the way to church this morning, I asked Emma if she wanted to practice over her verse. She refused to even hear it much less say it because she was in a serious funk from not getting enough sleep last night. So, I dropped it. We get into the service. She sits with one of the ladies at church while I'm in the choir (Don's home sleeping as he worked the night before). As I'm sitting there, I see her go up for the children's message which is when they say their verses. I'm really nervous at this point. Anyone with children knows this nervous feeling. THEN...she STANDS up because she had a new verse. I was like....oh my goodness...what in the world is going to come out of her mouth. I even voiced out loud..."she's never going to remember that verse." Let me just tell you, that little Emma spouted off that verse word for word. I was FLOORED. I'm sure my mouth was wide open. I couldn't believe she remembered it. I felt like the Lord was saying to me..."see child...I've got this". I was so proud of her. I know Jesus must have smiled down too...it was just that kind of moment. Now, who He was smiling at, I'm not sure. Probably me, since the light bulb seemed to have finally come on.
I'm so glad that He doesn't ever give up on me. Sometimes Emma would look up at me with tears in her eyes and say "I'm never gonna get this." I feel that way..."I'm never gonna get this, am I Father? I'm always going to doubt You and the promises You've already made me, aren't I? Why do I struggle so with believing You?" It's then that I feel His Loving Arms around me, begging me to rest in Him. So....that's what I'm doing tonight...I'm resting in Him.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
My Dance Girls
For Christmas, Santa brought the girls ballerina lessons. They started them on Monday. Here they are before the lessons. They love their new "tu-tu's" as they call them.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Philippians 4:19
"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus."
Today our pastor preached a message from this passage. I've tried to think on that verse this afternoon and really understand what the Lord is trying to teach me. Our pastor asked the question...what is your biggest need right now in 2009? That need could be a physical need...maybe healing from cancer or sickness or financial woes...it could be an emotional need...maybe a broken heart or stress...or it could be a spiritual need...maybe you need Jesus in your heart or you may have a burden so heavy that you cannot seem to bare it anymore.
My very first thought was that I truly need the amazing Presence of God. That's the only way I'll be a different person, right? He also made a comment which I'm not sure had anything to do with his message (I could be wrong because Emma was doing her 4 yr. old thing beside me...very distracting). He said in a round about way...if you pursue something and make something your focus, you will eventually achieve it. Now, I don't think you can pursue Christ so much that you will be just like Him, but it got me to thinking....What is my focus? is it Christ? or is it me?
I've been so totally consumed with myself for so long, I've become desensitized to it. I can always rationalize how I handle a situation or how I deserve to feel the way I do about a circumstance. I LONG to have Him as my focus. I can't really afford anything less.
Lord, please help me to be the child of Yours that I need to be. You are the only thing in my life that is a certainty. Help me to see You in every blessing and trial. May You be glorified in my life. Thank You for loving me anyway.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Happy New Year!
Ok...so I'm slacking already on my blogging for the year. Do you ever come to your blog or journal and feel like you have writer's block? I'm speechless most of the time. I've been trying to really grasp that 2009 is here and that I've left 2008 behind. I don't really have resolutions. BUT...I do have several goals for the year...some that I have to admit I've already failed at.
I long to dwell in the presence of Jesus. Not just pop in and out. I hate that dry feeling...like He's so far away. It makes me sad to look back over 2008 at the things I've truly missed out on. I could very easily have the "post-Christmas blues". Does anyone else get those? Is it just me?
Oh well...I long to be a different person in so many ways at this time next year. I've sat and wondered what the Lord may have in store for me and for my family this year. Will I lose someone I love? Will Don still have the same job? Will we be expecting another child? Will I be homeschooling Emma or will she be in public school? Will my relationship with my Lord and Savior be so intimate that I may know Him like He already knows me? Those are just a few. I know my will where most of those are concerned.....but HIS???...I'm not so sure.
I do know that there are mountains to be faced, moved and climbed in the year to come....I also know that I'm the daughter of The King, the One who knows all. I know that He is who He says He is. I know that He can do what He says He can do. I know I am who He says I am. I know I can do all things through Him. I know that His Word is alive and active in me. I pray that no matter what may come our way...I'll trust Him.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
I long to dwell in the presence of Jesus. Not just pop in and out. I hate that dry feeling...like He's so far away. It makes me sad to look back over 2008 at the things I've truly missed out on. I could very easily have the "post-Christmas blues". Does anyone else get those? Is it just me?
Oh well...I long to be a different person in so many ways at this time next year. I've sat and wondered what the Lord may have in store for me and for my family this year. Will I lose someone I love? Will Don still have the same job? Will we be expecting another child? Will I be homeschooling Emma or will she be in public school? Will my relationship with my Lord and Savior be so intimate that I may know Him like He already knows me? Those are just a few. I know my will where most of those are concerned.....but HIS???...I'm not so sure.
I do know that there are mountains to be faced, moved and climbed in the year to come....I also know that I'm the daughter of The King, the One who knows all. I know that He is who He says He is. I know that He can do what He says He can do. I know I am who He says I am. I know I can do all things through Him. I know that His Word is alive and active in me. I pray that no matter what may come our way...I'll trust Him.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
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