Consuming Thoughts

I've really struggled lately trying to bring myself to put into words what my heart is feeling. In my quiet time, the Lord has been showing me some things. What consumes my thoughts? Mark 4:14-20 talks about the parable of the sower. This is where I've camped for a while.

Vs. 15 talks about the 1st kind of people..."they by the wayside" which are the unresponsive people. These people fail to respond to the Word so satan removes it quickly. How many times does the Lord nudge me to call someone, write a note, say a word about Him that I quickly dismiss and then...it's gone. The Lord then uses someone else.
The 2nd kind of people is found in vs. 16-17. Here it's the "stony ground" or impulsive people. These people immediately receive the Word, but not counting the cost. There are no deep roots here; we believe for a while until trouble or persecution comes, and we quickly fall away. I don't want to fail the tests God allows in my life, but boy, am I feeling weak. My spirit seems broken with all the sadness I am enduring personally and that of others which brings me to point #3.
The 3rd is "those among thorns" or the preoccupied people. Here we allow legitimate matters ("cares of this world") and illegitimate matters ("the deceitfulness of riches and the lusts of other things") to take priority over the Word. The Lord never said that the cares of this world that we bare are bad, but He did say for us to cast all our cares on Him (1 Peter 5:7).
4th is "the good ground". Here we hear and receive or take to heart the Word which bares the fruits of faith, obedience and fidelity.

Father, I feel as if You are tilling my garden...trying to make me "good ground" to bare much fruit for You. You know my heart and the fears and tears that reside within. Father, I pray that the moment I begin to allow those to choke out Your Word and Your Promises to me, that You would nudge me...remind me that You are near. I'm nothing without You, Lord. I have NO strength of my own, so I MUST have Yours to be able to carry on. Infiltrate me through Your Hands. I love You Lord.